Holla Back

It was late evening on a fall day in mid November. Warmer days still lingered in the city air, especially on this particular evening when the temperature had not yet dropped below 50 degrees. I was walking side-by-side with my friend Sam, down a relatively uninhabited street in midtown after we had just been to the movies. We were deep in conversation, debating whether we had missed some important aspect of the film that had warranted it such spectacular reviews while we left feeling underwhelmed. I was aware of my surroundings, but not as acutely as I would usually be if I were alone; I noticed the people and buildings we passed by but didn’t find myself scanning for leering eyes. I didn’t feel the need to when I was out with Sam, or any of my male friends. I felt safe in the assumption that those prolonged stares would end as soon as they noted who I was with, and that nothing else would come of it. Unfortunately, my security lay in a false assumption. 

As we were walking down the sidewalk, a man was walking towards us. He was probably in his early to mid 40s, rather unassuming in appearance: jeans and a long sleeve t shirt, a 5 o’clock shadow apparent, hands in his front pockets, and head held high- not the type of person you would suspect to do something so foul. I saw him walking towards us but assumed he would just pass right by. He did not. As he was walking by on my side, he leaned in towards me, head facing in the direction of my vagina, and said “pussy” under his breath in a way that only I heard. Sam had no idea anything had happened at all. 

Since this incident, I have become increasingly attuned to my surroundings, regardless of who I’m with. Often, I find it's all I can think about as I venture down the crowded streets of Manhattan. If I’m with someone and we’re having a conversation, half of my mind is engaged while the other half is scouring for men who seem to be contemplating which demeaning phrase they’ll choose to say next. The first sign is how they look at me. Usually, those who plan on saying something check me out with more tennacity than just the usual glance up and down; they scan my entire body over, eyes and head turning as I walk past and landing, I assume, on my lower back, with a stare as crude as their thoughts, often referred to among my peers as the “hunger stare.” Unfortunately, by the time I’ve identified them, it’s generally too late to do anything about it, so I tuck my chin in, and stare at the ground. 

I’ve gotten into the habit of listening to music when I walk alone. If I only focus on the ground and what’s directly in front of me [so as not to walk into more things that I already frequently do], I can almost ignore all the glances and comments that are being thrown my way. When I started noticing all the strides I take to avoid harassment, the idea that I was not alone in this began to peek my interest, and I interviewed several of my female friends. I focus mainly on the female experience in this essay because it is the one I have direct experience with, and because women have the most experience with street harassment. However, I do not deny that there are people of all genders who fall victim to street harassment. After speaking to my peers, taking precautions to avoid potential harassment was a commonality. All of those that I spoke to about their experiences with street harassment also engage in some sort of avoidance tactic. Most will listen to music and focus their gaze solely on what is directly in front of them. Others will make sure to avoid eye contact because that often encourages the harassers to be more forward than just a stare (Detso, Dukes, Dukes, Fore, Hogan, Norris, Schenck, Starosta, Strock, Sutphin, Tzivanis, White, White, Venz). All in all, women are going out of their way to avoid street harassment. Why is it a victim’s job to escape the harassment? This follows the same mentality that believes that rape victims “asked for it” if they were wearing more revealing clothing or were intoxicated. This is victim blaming and it needs to end.

In 2004, Stop Street Harassment, an organization dedicated to ending “catcalls, sexually explicit comments, sexist remarks, homophobic slurs, groping, leering, stalking, flashing, and assault”(“Home”), conducted a study of 2,000 U.S. participants. The study found that:

65% of all women had experienced street harassment. Among all women, 23%  had been sexually touched, 20% had been followed, and 9% had been forced to do something sexual. Among men, 25% had been street harassed (a higher percentage of LGBT-identified men than heterosexual men reported this) and their most common form of harassment was homophobic or transphobic slurs (9%). (“Statistics”)  

Assuming the survey was representative of the population, this means that the majority of the female population has experienced some form of street harassment in their lives. In a group of 10 women, one could assume roughly 7 of them may have experienced street harassment, roughly 2 may have been touched in a sexual way, 2 may have been followed, and roughly one of them may have been forced into a sexual act. The founder of “Stop Street Harassment” conducted two studies in which she sent out an online forum and received 1,141 respondents between the two surveys (the first in the spring of 2007 and the second in the fall of 2008) (“Statistics - Stop Street Harassment Studies.”) Both of these studies found that “over 99 percent of the female respondents said they had experienced some form of street harassment” (“Statistics - Stop Street Harassment Studies.”). This is a staggering percentage and contrasts slightly with the previous study I mentioned which stated that 65% of all women experienced street harassment. This is most likely due to the fact that these latter two studies were online surveys where a response was voluntary, and thus, cannot be applied to the entire population. However it is still a stunning statistic that should not be discarded and is reflective of the very serious problem that is street harassment. 

Over a mixture of in person conversations, phone calls, and one over zealous group text, I asked 14 of my female friends if they had ever experienced street harassment. 100% said they had (Detso, Dukes, Dukes, Fore, Hogan, Norris, Schenck, Starosta, Strock, Sutphin, Tzivanis, White, White, Venz). At some point in each of their lives, they had been harassed and it had made enough of an impact to stick with them. While I am aware that the frequency of catcalls often varies among locations (i.e. I am much more likely to be catcalled in Manhattan than I am in a small town in Virginia), the fear doesn’t seem to vary. Even among friends who have only been cat called a handful of times, the fear still exists. This fear is rooted in something much deeper than the crass comment or statement itself: it’s rooted in the idea that something could happen because of it. “It’s not anxiety about the actual words someone will say to you, it's the fact that they are comfortable publicly, verbally harassing you so who knows what else they would be comfortable in doing to you”, my 19 year old friend Ellie explains as we have one of our weekly (more often daily) Facetime chats. She has spent her whole life living in a small town in the middle of Virginia. Her experiences with street harassment are not as extensive as my peers who abide in large cities such as Manhattan, but yet she still shares the same fear.

I explored this idea further while having a conversation with a 22 year old male friend of mine, as we were walking to get food. I was trying to explain to him why catcalling is such a problem. He, having never really experienced it, would have thought of the act as more flattering than frightening (Bongirne). I explained that the fear comes from the worry of what would happen next. Will that catcall turn into something more? If someone has the audacity to say something to me, will they follow me? In a book about ending street harassment entitled Stop Street Harassment Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women, author Holly Kearl explains that “for the millions of women who experience harassment every day, it is not surprising that street harassment can quickly manifest itself into the fear of being at risk for assault or rape” (xi). We’ve heard too many stories of girls walking alone and then disappearing such as Hannah Graham, an eighteen year old girl who went missing in September of 2014 in my hometown of Charlottesville Virginia and was found dead only a few weeks later. Even in broad daylight on a crowded street, there’s a fear that someone could grab you, grope you, or follow you until you get somewhere where you’re more accessible. The fear that is so detrimental is a fear of the unknown. The catcall itself may not be physically harming someone (although there are serious side effects of constant objectification as I’ll describe in the following paragraph), but there is a constant worry that something more physical may arise.

This anxiety is not so simply explained by the pitfalls of modern patriarchy because, as Emma Rooney, professor at NYU explains in an article she published with the NYU department of applied psychology “according to objectification theory, the internalization of sexual objectification leads to constant self-monitoring, creating a state of self-consciousness that breeds feelings of shame and anxiety.”  Anxiety or stress felt over and over is known as chronic stress which has been known to be a key factor in depression. An anonymous blogger called “thebiocheminist” posted an article in which she analyzed the mental health effects catcalling has on its victims and noted that “in a study that focused on the workplace, an association between harassment and poor mental health was identified. Specifically, individuals who experienced sexual harassment early on in their careers were more likely to be depressed later in life. This was the case for both men and women” (“Cat-Calling and Mental Health”).  Essentially, the worry and anticipation around street harassment causes immense stress, anxiety, and can result in long lasting problems such as depression. Professor Rooney concurred with the finding that depression also was a result of street harassment because “prolonged exposure to sexual objectification may also contribute to insidious trauma which is marked by psychological trauma symptoms that occur due to lifelong exposure to microaggressions.”  All of this anxiety about what could happen when someone walks down the street is causing a large increase in anxiety and depression.

Depression is not the only side effect of such unwanted and unwarranted advances. It has also been known to reduce productivity because “objectification creates a continuous stream of anxiety-provoking experiences, requiring women to maintain at least part of their concentration on their physical appearance and safety at all times in order to better anticipate the perceptions and actions of others” (Rooney). Victims of street harassment cannot put their full attention into their work because there is still a part of them that is constantly worried about their safety and self image, thus they are unable to accomplish their work as well as they could. I personally feel unsafe, at some level, anytime I am in public, as do many of my friends because, as my friend Sonam put it, “there’s always the thought in the back of your mind, like yikes I hope something doesn’t happen to me”. 

Victims of street harassment are often paranoid, and rightly so, about what will happen next. Will someone else catcall me? Will that catcall turn into something more? Is the man behind me following me? Did someone just slip something in my drink? Many victims don’t feel safe in public areas or around strangers and are in a heightened state of anxiety any time they are. This anxiety is extremely detrimental to their mental health and the harassers aren’t even aware of their impact, and if they are, they don’t care.

In researching this topic, I decided I wanted to conduct an experiment of my own. I and a trusted male friend Case, acting as my bodyguard, hit the streets of Manhattan in search of catcallers. My plan was to walk around the city until I got catcalled. Then I would approach the catcaller and ask him about the intentions behind his comment, if he understood it was street harassment, and if knowing that would make him more or less inclined to do it in the future. I spoke to three catcallers about the first two questions but had a hard time getting anyone to stick around (or got too uncomfortable myself to stick around) to make it to the third question. 

Because of the nature of my experiment, I had Case walk about 10 paces behind me in case anything were to happen after I approached the catcallers. He took it upon himself to count how many “hunger stares” I got as I was walking. While walking around, I was wearing leggings, a sweatshirt, and a leather jacket. No skin was showing, but one could get a decent idea of my figure. I didn’t want to wear anything too provocative or that I wouldn’t wear regularly so that my results would reflect my own personal average experience. I hesitate even mentioning what I was wearing because I do not think clothing should be at all indicative of how a person should be treated, but unfortunately it is. I carried my phone in my hand and had it locked but had a voice memo recording so I could pick up what the catcaller said initially and in response to my questions. 

We began at Union Square. It was a Saturday afternoon, the air was still quite cold, but the sun was shining. Union Square was filled with people, the farmers market in full swing. I walked all around the small park. In the span of 14 minutes, I received two catcalls and roughly 10 hunger stares. The first catcall came meer two minutes into my expedition. An older man, probably in his 50s or 60s, was leaning against a lamp post on the south facing part of the park. I walked past him and he muttered out, somewhat under his breath but loud enough that I could clearly hear, “mmmm mmmm you are something. Hey beautiful” (Anonymous Catcaller 1). The initial sounds he made mimicked that of a starving person’s reaction to seeing a juicy piece of meat in front of their eyes. 

I turned to him and said “hello, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” 

He continued to stare up and down my body and said  “you look like a movie star”. 

“Why did you say that to me?” I questioned.

“Because you have natural beauty. You ain’t got no silicone, it’s all natural”, he replied again looking only at my body and not my face. 

“Do you say things like that to girls often?” I asked, smiling because I knew my next question was going to throw him for a loop.

“No, only you beautiful”

“Do you know that’s considered street harassment?”

He immediately started turning away and said “Nah, nah, I’m married”, showing me his ring. 

Apparently, a wedding ring excuses you from sexual harassment. Noting that the conversation had ended because, by this point, he turned his body 180 degrees away from me, I continued on.

Case and I took a brief pause about 10 minutes in to compare notes on “hunger stares.” There were four that made enough of an impression on me to stick, while Case noted seven. These stares were not just glances in my direction. They were prolonged, and filled with a crass tenacity that lasted for an all too uncomfortable amount of time. One such gawk came from a police officer. His was one of the more obvious. He was walking with his partner. He noticed me, took his time examining every inch of my body. He looked for so long that he had to turn his entire body to continue noting my backside as I walked past. My trusted bodyguard heard him say “wow”. Unfortunately, I was out of earshot at that point and couldn’t speak to him about his comment.

The next harasser came minutes later in the middle of the farmer’s market, people crowded on either side. He again was older, late 40s early 50s. He was walking in the opposite direction as I. As I walked past, his head turned and he hollered “you are so hot” giving me the same ferocious look as the one before (Anonymous Catcaller 2). I again asked if I could speak with him. 

“Sure, just because you’re pretty” he replied with an eerie grin

“Can I ask you why you commented on my looks?” I questioned.

“I don’t know because you look pretty, I’m single, I’m wealthy and I’m bored” he responded, giving a little chuckle at the end

“Do you know that that’s considered street harassment?”

“I’m not harassing you. You turned around. Now you’re harassing me now, actually. I’m a lawyer so don’t get confused. You’re harassing me.” He quickly walked off. I decided, having walked around the park twice now, to move on to a different part of the city. Case and I compared counts for hunger stares and settled at 10. Ten hunger stares and two catcalls in 14 minutes. Case was shocked at how quickly it all happened. He expected it to take us hours.

We then ventured east to a neighborhood we both new well, the East Village. Deciding Tompkins Square park was our best bet, we began our second round. I walked around the park for five minutes until I came across three men, probably in their 50s, sitting on a bench when one called out “damn you are bea-u-tiful” all three giving me the hunger stare that I know all too well (Anonymous Catcaller 3).

Having almost walked past them, I quickly turned around and asked, “can I ask you why you said that?

“Because you are beautiful”, the one sitting in the middle replied

Not wanting to dottle, I jumped right into it and responded, “do you know that that is technically street harassment?”

“No, no I said beautiful. You are not an ugly woman, you are a beautiful woman. I’m not harassing you in a bad way”, he clarified.

Wanting to get a little more out of him than I had with the previous two, I furthered, “but that can make people really nervous and uncomfortable to walk outside” 

“But I was complimenting you”, he said “justifying” his actions.

I thanked him for his time and walked away as he seemed to be getting defensive and the other two were starting to take it upon themselves to also say that it wasn’t considered harassment because it was a compliment.

In all three instances, the harassers refused to see that what they were doing was in fact harassment (although the last one did refer to it as not harassing me “in a bad way”, but I’m not sure how one could harass someone else without it being “in a bad way”). I could have pushed harder to explain to them that it was in fact harassment, but for my own safety I decided not to. They were all fine objectifying me and taking it upon themselves to comment on a stranger’s physical appearance as they walked past but insisted it was okay because they were married, or lawyers, or simply complimenting me. They took no responsibility for their actions.

During my senior year of high school, several of my friends and I would leave school at lunch and go out to get food. Our most common spot was a local and well respected bagel place called Bodo's Bagels (if you’re ever in Charlottesville you must go). Charlottesville is a fairly small city with a population of roughly 46,000. Not so small that you know everyone in town by any means, but small enough that it still has that small town feel. It is not uncommon to find yourself in a somewhat in depth conversation with a complete stranger whether it be the person checking you out at the grocery store, or the person standing behind you in line at your local bagel joint. 

On one particular afternoon, I was waiting in an unusually long line to order my lunch when I struck up a conversation with the gentleman behind me. He was probably in his late 50s or so, dressed like he was on lunch break from work. I don’t remember all of the details of our conversation or really how it began, but I remember he was asking me if I was in high school, noting that he had a son that went to a different high school near by. This was nothing out of the ordinary, it felt casual and friendly. He then moved on to ask more personal questions, such as how I liked my high school, where I was planning on going to college, how long I’d been in Charlottesville, etc. Again, none of these questions were all that out of the ordinary, but as he asked each one, he began to move closer and closer to me. They got more and more personal and he got closer and closer and I became very uncomfortable. Luckily I was next in line and stepped up quickly to the cash register to order my food and then walked over to where my friends were waiting on theirs. About three minutes later, after he had finished ordering his own food, he started to walk back towards me. Just as he was about five feet away, a woman, probably around the same age as the man, jumped in front of me and pretended as though we knew each other. She then leaned in and explained that she noticed the man talking to me and standing rather close earlier and didn’t want him to come back over. Her plan worked. As soon as the man saw her talking to me, he turned around and went somewhere else to wait on his food. I thanked the woman and she stayed nearby until my order was called and my friends and I left. 

While I wouldn’t necessarily call this interaction, street harassment. It followed the same principles. I was uncomfortable and anxious because a man was saying/ doing things that I did not ask for. This was not my first experience being uncomfortable with a man speaking to me. However, this was the first time someone else interrupted the experience. That is what made this experience stick with me. The woman had obviously had some experience seeing or being in my situation or something similar, because she noticed what was going on (like I said, it is not uncommon for people in Charlottesville to strike up a conversation, so it wasn’t an obvious red flag for a bystander), and she knew the best way to not make a scene but also get me out of the situation. It culminates the argument that street harassment is a serious problem that a large majority of women have dealt with first hand. 

As a society, we have normalized these advances to the point where I was surprised when someone stepped in to help me. In turn, we have normalized the side effects of this kind of harassment. Not one of the catcallers I interviewed was willing to take responsibility for their actions. This leaves me, and every other victim, with the responsibility of making sure something else doesn’t come of it. That is a very misplaced burden that comes along with its own burdens: fear and anxiety. These detriments won’t end until the burden is justly put back on the harassers to the point where the harassment itself comes to an end.


Works Cited

Anonymous Catcaller 1. Interview [7 April 2018]

Anonymous Catcaller 2. Interview [7 April 2018]

Anonymous Catcaller 3. Interview [7 April 2018]

Bongirne, Case. Interview [7 April 2018]

“Cat-Calling and Mental Health.” Thebiocheminist, 3 Nov. 2014, thebiocheminist.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/cat-calling-and-mental-health/.

Detso, Sonam. Interview [12 March 2018]

Dukes, Sophie. Interview [12 March 2018]

Dukes, Sarah. Interview [12 March 2018]

Fore, Ellie. Interview [12 March 2018]

“Home.” Stop Street Harassment, www.stopstreetharassment.org/.

Hogan, Monte. Interview [12 March 2018]

Kear, Hollyl. Stop Street Harassment Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women. Createspace Independent Pub, 2012.

Norris, Hannah. Interview [12 March 2018]

Rooney, Emma. “The Effects of Sexual Objectification on Women's Mental Health.” Applied Psychology OPUS - NYU Steinhardt, NYU Steinhardt, steinhardt.nyu.edu/appsych/opus/issues/2016/spring/rooney.

Schenck, Elsa. Interview [12 March 2018]

Starosta, Pascale. Interview [12 March 2018]

“Statistics.” Stop Street Harassment, www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/.

“Statistics - Stop Street Harassment Studies.” Stop Street Harassment, www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/sshstudies/.

Strock, Emma. Interview [12 March 2018]

Sutphin, Rebecca. Interview [12 March 2018]

Tzivanis, Katie. Interview [12 March 2018]

White, Samantha. Interview [12 March 2018]

White, Sarah. Interview [12 March 2018]

Venz, Allison. Interview [12 March 2018]